my lessons · Uncategorized

Fake it till you become it

This morning after my husband left to work and I cleaned up the house and was wondering what I would do today.I had jotted down my usual list of things like- finishing one of the “The Lord of the Rings” book that I have been reading over the weekend, practice more coding to get the hands-on better, start singing one song from today and then go out for a walk in the evening. Suddenly I received a phone notification that I need to update 14 apps on my mobile. I switched the wifi button on my phone and started updating.I was wondering that apart from these things before I start going to work, let me add something else to my agenda of “not-so” great things people would assume that I would be doing. Bam- “TED”. I knew that TED is a blog that posts all the good talks under the sun – anything right from the pin to the plane but I never made an attempt so far to watch one .I had installed this app and made a point that I would listen to one video a day on any random topic. This way, I could improve a) My communication skills b) More information c) Productive use of time for 20 minutes.

That afternoon, after my lunch, I happened to look at the TED app and found the popular talks of all time tab there.The topic “Your body language shapes who you are” looked interesting to me.The speaker was Amy Cuddy who is a Harvard researcher and a Social psychologist. She had done an extensive research on the body language or the nonverbal portion of a person that changes the other people’s perspective on that person.This sounded interesting to me and started watching the video.

I have heard of this sentence “Fake it until you make it” and I always believed this. Let me narrate a small story. When I was in school, after every summer vacation, the teacher used to ask us what we did last summer and where we went for a vacation.Every student used to come up with some stories that they had visited their grandparents, visited monuments, went to hill stations or amusement parks or whatever and wherever.I never got to do any of these and got cornered by the fellow students since I did not visit any place and be at home.I used to wonder, how lucky these people are because they lived in a metro and their native place used to be a village and they use to have big get- together with their large families. Whereas, I was born and raised in a metro somewhere in South India. Our family was very small. All my relatives moved to different cities and metros and there was absolutely no presence of any village in my circle because my ancestors moved to this metro a century ago.Apparently since the family size had gone down, we literally did not stay in touch with any cousins and people getting on with their busy lives didn’t know the existence of the entire family. And I being a child with no siblings was totally aloof and my friends in the apartment also used to go for a vacation. As a child, I used to feel very lonely and my mom used to take me to the beach or to a restaurant and that’s all she could afford being a single mom.So during every summer vacation, I used to write down a super fake story about what I did in that summer vacation. I used to imagine that I had gone to some monument in some other city of India. Meanwhile gathered facts about the monument and keep an essay ready and have it by heart.After the vacation ends and school reopens I used to tell it by heart in such a way that I really visited the place. That instilled my confidence and my fellow classmates stopped cornering me.So I really faked it until I made it but somewhere in the corner of my heart, I used to feel guilty of this act of mine.

Today, when I heard Amy Cuddy’s speech, I like the thing she said “Fake it till you become it” and I totally buy her words. She cited an example of her life and how she did strive to finish her college after her IQ levels dropped down by 2 standard deviations and how she had faked her confidence in the terms of the body language until she became the one who is she now.She also said that tiny tweaks in our posture and body language can result in big changes in life. That was wonderful and I also feel a need to change the body language and start adapting the superwoman pose for being more confident in life.I’m going to fake being a superwoman starting now so that one fine day in future I will be a superwoman in the real life. GO/SUPERWOMAN !!!!!

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