What should I believe ? Whom should I believe in? Where should my belief be bestowed in? Why should I believe? Which is the best belief? How should I believe ?These are the few questions that have been pondering in my mind for some time since morning.I got the answer for these questions after a short power nap.My inner-self gave a response back to me that “Sweetheart the answer is You. Believe in yourself. You are capable of doing anything and your words are the only ones where the belief need to be bestowed in.”I have been mentally disturbed since this morning due to a couple of incidents that happened today.
Firstly,I had a dream of my only longest one- sided love in my life .Yes, I did fall in love with someone and that was 12 years ago. Though it did not work out as he was into something else and I moved on , got married to somebody else , this person haunts me in my dreams even to this date. That subconscious memory has not faded away and I still remember him but too afraid to talk about and not interested to contact him.That might sound stupid and impractical to many but true love never fades no matter what and how much we move away.
Secondly, I have had some serious conversation about trust with my husband. Any kind of marriage be it a love marriage(where you fall in love before the marriage) or an arranged marriage (because you never get to know the person but get married having blind trust and parents check the horoscopes of the bride and groom and everything goes as scheduled in India).The elders are very engrossed in getting their children married and do not consider whether these children really are into it.Of course, my mom has been open-minded many times and she has been asking questions about the health of our relationship .What I mean is building trust is necessary for any kind of relationship.You lose trust upon someone when the wife is blamed for being childless and the husband lies to the outside world that the wife had abortion twice .This abortion is not true as the wife did not get conceived at all due to an unhealthy sexual relationship between the couple.
I surely have to stop thinking both and move on with my compromised career life for being a housewife and take wise decisions that make me happy. So my inner-self said, “Believe in yourself”.