blogging · countdown · fiction · life · my lessons


This is an imaginary story….

Okay friends, I wanted to write something about the society but after looking at my Facebook, I got completely carried away by a Facebook post by one of my Facebook friends.This really threw some massive light on me and made me wake up from a big dream in my life.I realized what I did was wrong by living in a parallel fiction world.

When I was a teenager and after that, I grew up conservatively with absolutely zero boyfriends.I knew many boys but they were just good friends “only” with whom I used to interact and knew their families.Nothing personal and no crushes.But I had a liking for one guy whom I found very special then. I had a major crush on him, I was too afraid to strike a conversation with him and eventually started becoming Orkut and Facebook friends. We used to work on the same shift and lived almost in the same area. I was stalking on him and tried grabbing a lot of attention from him. We became friends. But not close but a kind of okay friends.

At that point of time, I noticed that one of my college friends, was close to him and I started becoming closer to her so that I can talk to him. I used to send him all the lovely forwarded SMS and my own ones too disclosing my attraction for him.I’m not sure that he understood and later got to know that he was single but was heart broken from a previous love affair.I was happy that he was single and started pursuing him very seriously. We also went for an interview together and with those butterflies in my stomach. Days passed and I slowly lost his contact. I was too focused on career and forgot his presence.

I got a new job and moved on. But I didn’t get attracted to anyone else other than him. One day, I confessed to him that I really like him in the sense , loved him and do not hesitate to get married to him.He was like “a big -no” obviously but he conveyed that in a subtle way and still stayed in touch. I got a promise from him that, he should never stop staying in touch with me on social media and always respond to me. He was like Okay and really did what I said.

I got engaged to my husband. The day before the engagement, I told my crush that I’m getting engaged and he will be invited to my wedding.He wished me luck and confessed that my friend had proposed him and he rejected her too because he was still thinking about that girl whom he loved, she moved on and got married.Years passed by, even though I seemed to move on, because of certain circumstances my spouse and I had very rough relationship. I used to literally cry every day and I started living in a fictional parallel world with my crush. That made me extremely happy and forget my rough relationship with my husband. After many days, my mom found this out, not about my parallel fiction but about this rough life, she started advising me to get on well with my husband. She started mentoring me and advised me like a friend. But I hid this dream life from her and from everyone. Because of my mom, I slowly started getting adjusted with my husband and later quit my job to move with him. Until then I was in India, happily in that fiction.Even after moving with my husband, I was still making the mistake of living in that fiction only and at times messaging my crush how much I missed him and all. He was forced into a marriage and that broke. I was happy and I thought God is going to take me there. My relationship with my husband got rougher and we literally fought. I was about to break up.

Again I sought my mom’s advice and she calmed me down. She was kind of noticing what I was up to though she was 10000 miles away.In fact, I was wrongly in love with this fictional guy without noticing that I was spoiling my life.Months passed by and I went to India to visit my mom for a brief one month. She again advised me to try adjusting with my husband. And I was like, one last chance , if nothing works, I will break up and get back to a job in India.My husband was too adding fuel to this fire by gossiping .That I’m responsible for childlessness though we both mutually were. Things started taking a turn when I noticed that my crush was married secretly.I started stalking him more to find out who that woman was. I came out of the dream almost 80% and started loving my husband. He too changed his attitude towards me and started respecting my choices and being less of a chauvinist.

Today, I found that he had got married to his first love.She divorced her husband and got married to my crush.That 80% love on my husband turned to 100%.At last, a massive light on me. I came out of the bad dream I was living in for almost 12 years since 2004. I’m wholeheartedly relieved and I started feeling very light since last 2 hours.I learned to move on. I started understanding reality.I feel that I can pursue better things in life and move forward quickly.I’m not sure how many people who know me personally are going to read this blog. Or perhaps none. None, the better.

blogging · countdown · east · west


Last night, I felt like watching some horror movie, so I watched one of the Insidious movies.In that movie, Renai, the lead character, she plays the piano and sings the song:”Yeah, I’m looking west, always been looking that way, gonna get it all happening, just can’t do it today…”.

I loved the lyrics of the song and I’m not sure what the songwriter had in mind or what the actual singer thought of it. But , a surge of thoughts flowed like a river in my mind. Is it like everybody looks west rather than east ? When the sun rises in the east ,we are looking at the rising sun,our day also rises and so our life is supposed to. If we are looking west, that’s the setting sun and our life sets that way.

Almost every person belonging to the east looks at west, not at the setting sun but towards the western map. Which means everyone looks at the UK, USA, Europe.Is it because of western invasion in almost every country. For example, India was invaded by British and Indians got the habit of being subservient to the white man(British then). Our forefathers took all the orders from the British forgetting their self-respect. That day they started looking west and the genes passed to us and we too started looking west not exactly for the same reason but for opportunities. We have forgotten that the opportunities could be created in a place other than West. So that had led the entire east to get drained into the west and what we call brain drain.

Looking and living west is not cake walk either. I’m personally experiencing a lot of issues. Leave alone the culture, the entire world has become a global village because of technological advances and living in other cultures has become easier.For example, the mindset of job interviewers is so different here. In the United States, we really need to be very hard working, getting into details, looking at the big picture, be timely there is no place for tardiness, unlike east.We have to be very independent in every aspect right from fixing our own bikes ,filling the gas, household work to painting our house. I say when we look at the west, we need to become independent. Whereas in India, we have people for everything I mentioned above. We have people around when we need help and there is a plethora of relationship, emotions, and bonding. We need to cut- off from our parents and siblings when we look west.Every day, I have this heart stabbed feeling when I think my old mom is all alone and I need to look east very soon.Not that I have achieved anything here, other than writing blogs, driving wisely, living independent, understood my husband better meanwhile being jobless.

People look west and forget east.That is the reason why most of the developed countries are in the west and not east. We all should get rid off our forefathers’ subservient genes towards the west and start looking east and create more opportunities and stop this red-tapism and pave a better way for innovation and structurize the eastern economies. That way at least our future generation gets to see a developed east. I wish after I’m long gone, I could just appear as a soul to witness the developed east once with these same eyes happily satisfied. This revolution might take another half a century .

blogging · education · knowledge


What is knowledge? A knowledge is a reservoir of all the great ideas and innovation done by everyone other than you. The society calls a person as knowledgeable when he showcases what he is aware but done by others whether it is good or bad. That is why as a kid, even I had a subject in school called General Knowledge. This subjected was not meant for grading purposes but was mandatory and had to take up tests. I studied in a school that had Matriculation syllabus obviously derived from the British culture. We studied 10 different subjects in 6th class and were overburdened with mandatory homework and punishments in case we fail to write. We were imposed on writing the same homework 50 times and the teachers used to make us feel the knuckle pain just like Severus Snape in Harry Potter. They used to hit us using a wooden ruler or a cane. They also used to make us kneel down in front of the entire class if we fail to do homework for all 10 subjects. All the textbooks were huge and we need to mug up the entire content failing which again all the punitive approach. If the student did everything as said by the teacher, then he/she was deemed to be knowledgeable and were given good grades.We were forced to write whatever is there in the textbook for the exams , else the grades would be deducted.

Did those grades really help? I was someone who mostly did the homework and someone with fewer punishments.Now, when I realize all this, there is not much difference between the folks that got punishment and were left happy then. This system of education did not create any good path other than just making us feel temporarily happy for those grades when we were made to feel knowledgeable.This system did not help me to find jobs nor improve my public relations or confidence in general.Just helped to learn everything by heart and forget it by brain forever.

Revamp in education is required, especially in India where the students should be allowed to use their own brains and not heart to mug things up.In fact, they should be encouraged to convey their opinions and make them think on their own. Happy at least, British made us get global recognition because of they teaching us English,But we Indians should start modernizing the education by implementing the latest techniques and innovation in school such that the students get knowledgeable on the “real terms”.

autobiography · feminism · review

Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte

When 50 shades of Grey was published, along with me there were millions that went crazy. It was that time when amazon showed me Jane Eyre in the recommendation column when I placed an order of 50 shades of Grey . After going through the synopsis, I liked the idea that the novel, Jane Eyre was dated back to the year 1816 and was published in 1847.I ordered this book then and kept it on the bookshelf for a long time.I did not read many reviews of the book because I would get carried away with the comments and become biased .After 4 long years, I made up my mind to read this novel.

My book has 509 pages and it reminded me of all English novels like Oliver Twist, Gulliver’s Travels,Little Women,Tom Sawyer ,etc. These were some of the English novels that were suggested for us when we were in school.But, Jane Eyre has a totally different shade to this vintage list.I was surprised to look at how feminism started flourishing 2 centuries ago and we are not still there yet in many places although there has been a revolution.Apart from feminism-it also portrays the ages of bad healthcare,non-auto transportation, nonelectricity .

Like every other English novel, the author has described the circumstances and the situation around in detail. She had taken us literally to her world since this is an autobiography. She has set up a beautiful example to women in terms of what true love is, what it takes to find a job ,how she forgives her aunt in spite of she blaming poor Jane for her behavior over her son and how she agrees to share her inherited wealth with her cousins.

I have two favorite characters in this novel apart from Jane Eyre – Mr. Rochester and Helen Burns. Every girl child needs to be like Helen Burns ; very bold and brave.Mr. Rochester goes without saying. He is shown as a gentleman and I feel he resembles the character of Mr. Hank Rearden . Actually, it is the other way round.

I have rated this classic 4/5 on Goodreads. This book is a must read for all women.

blogging · countdown · review


It is almost 12 am here and I’m too sure what to write after a super cool hangover.Yes, it is Saturday night and I have a personal goal of finishing this A to Z countdown blog for the letter J.What else could I think of the letter J other than the word “Jealousy” at this point in time.

What is jealousy ? Is it just a feeling like being happy, sad, worried, ecstatic ? Or does it belong to a class of emoji mentioned in the social networking sites? Or is it just another English word starting with J?

Whenever someone possesses something beautiful be it a smile or a lipstick shade or a boyfriend or a job . Those people assume that somebody else could jealous of them when they lose that thing. Is it really possible or is that jealousy of a person so powerful that they lose something that they are proud of ? Absolutely not. Only pride makes them lose and not jealousy.

Jealousy could be both a motivator and a demotivator. It is a motivator because one feels on top of the world when somebody else envies what this person has. Demotivator because if one feels when somebody is getting jealous, that person feels like he or she going to lose those things some day.They feel unprotected and start moving away from people assuming that less is better.

Like other emotions, this emotion is needed for anyone to get the stuff balanced. This world operates in a balance mode. For example, the 2 negatives of a person X might be offset by 2 positives of that person’s partner and vice versa.

This could encourage a person to do better in life or altogether deceive the target.The emotional Intelligence is required for every person in order to first control the self and then others.This way jealousy can be contained too.

This attribute in a person’s character is important to be controlled .Because it is like a devil and gets the customers out of the routine.

A healthy way of helping to get rid of jealousy. Take it in a positive manner and improve performance that enhances this factor.

blogging · chocolate · countdown · ice cream · memoire · review


Hello, my friends. After 2 weeks of taking a blog break, I’m back fresh and the aftermath of an exam that I had to take. Hoping to restart my reading goals and every week blog from this week onward. For the letter “I” , I’m going to write about ice cream and the different types of ice creams I have had so far.Obviously, I cannot have a say of what I haven’t eaten or tasted. Ice cream – why is it called ice cream It’s all ice,frozen,sugar,dairy, gluten, infinite calories and lots of energy.Most of them love the sight of this food too. So I also call it “Eyes- Scream”. After someone looks at it, they make an attempt to scream from the heart not to get scared or run away but to run towards it.

My first ice cream:

I exactly do not remember when I had my first ice cream but remember the period. I was little and sick. My dad gave me a ride in his scooter one midnight to this place where they sell ice creams all night.That place was pretty close to my school and near the beach. He was like “Sandy, have this ice cream .You will get better. Sickness will disappear like a fairy tale.”.  He was the first person to call me Sandy and he was also the first person to make me eat an ice cream when I was sick. Boom, it really subsided next day and I was sick- free in a couple of days. I’m not sure about the logic behind it but even to this day, whenever I’m sick I eat ice cream. Thanks to my dad in the heaven, he made me remember him and my first ice cream today.My first ice cream was a chocolate flavor in a cup. Yummy, any girl loves it , I guess so?

Ball ice cream:


Ball ice creams used to be “the thing” when I was little .All the kids used to love them too because the ice cream was served in a plastic ball and after eating we could take them home, wash and play with them. Every kid used to collect as many ice cream balls as possible for fun. The color of the cap in the ball used to depict the ice cream flavor. For example, blue cap means it is a vanilla ice cream, pink one means strawberry, brown one represents chocolate flavor and so on.Every time we go out, mom used to buy this ice cream for me. Aww, love her.

Cone Ice cream:

Ice cream in a crispy cone.This ice cream used to be the cheapest, softest and it was sold for 5 bucks(Indian rupees).As a school kid and relying just on the pocket money, whenever there is a chance, we all used to grab them. Every week, the ice cream guy used to serve in a variety of flavors. As kids, we all used to ensure that we grab a cone every week and taste any damn flavor he comes up with.

Stick Ice cream:

If anybody wants to have a colored tongue, they can have the stick ice cream. Every time someone licks this ice cream, whatever color the ice cream is made up of, sticks hard to the tongue like in the picture above. The stick ice cream is juicy and melts immediately. Usually, this used to sold by the street hawkers in a small trolley. Nowadays they are sold in the shops too.When I was little, I had some kids as my enemies(especially the ones that were little than me) I used to have a grape- flavored ice cream and scare them away by showing my tongue especially in the dark. Sshhh, I used to pretend to my mom that I didn’t do any mistake . Poor woman, she used to believe me.This was the ice cream that even the previous generation loved. My mother in law too. She loves this. So I make it a point to get this for her whenever I visit her. Small things make people happy.That’s what I believe.

Sundaes and Cassattas:

These were the ice creams that I used to get every day after writing an exam, especially in my 10th and 12th classes. I used to be the chubby, over pampered, nerd momma’s kid .After her work, she used to bring it for me and my cousins used to get envious . Lol !! Those were the days.Now I wonder how many millions of calories I consumed during my first 20 years of my pampered life.

Fudges and brownies:



I didn’t know what a fudge was until I joined the college. The first time when I went to an ice cream parlor with my college mates, that was the time I had this fudge. Every first experience seems to be thrilled and I was deeply immersed in this ice cream whereas my college mates were busy talking about the guys and fashion. Did I miss anything????. And I never regret as I enjoyed my world then as I did not have any heart breaks or any breakup.

Chocolate Chip Ice cream:


Whenever I visit my uncle’s, my aunt and uncle make it a point to stock this chocolate chip ice cream in their fridge.Even though they are in their 70’s and are impacted by super cholesterol, they get it for me and they cheat it away too. Like I said, small things make people happy and I don’t regret them having it too.

IBaco :

Even a week before I was getting married, I used to spend some alone time in this ice cream parlor. It was called ibaco. I used to have several scoops and take home a few more just to enjoy the moment. Do I call myself as an ice cream addict? I don’t think so. Of course, I do have a control over it. The first time, when my husband visited my home, I took him there and he also became the fan of ibaco. If someone visits Chennai(South India), make it a point to stop over at any ibaco to escape into the ice cream world.

Ben & Jerry’s, Breyers, Dreyers, Great Value or be it no value:

Whatever may be the brand be it – Ben & Jerry’s, Breyers, Dreyers, Great Value or be it no value any ice cream surely does create value to me.Sometimes I survive on ice creams as dinner or mood enhancer or a therapy for anything at times.Anyone that bought me ice cream has melted my heart.Thanks to anyone that has done so far.

I forgot to mention about this waffle ice cream. Someone who hated me got this for me. Thanks to her too.




blogging · countdown · life · memoire · travel · vacation


At last, it was a Hawaiian dream come true.Never thought in my life that, I would visit the Aloha State .Hawaii had been the dream destination for ages, until one fine day, my husband said, “Ok, I do have flight miles accumulated and it would elapse soon.Let us book a trip to Honolulu for the  American Independence Day long weekend “.Yahoo, to my astonishment, he even had hotel credits accumulated and that sufficed for the entire trip.We had to shell out bucks for food, rental car or local transport and tickets for sightseeing. I was super excited, checked the weather and packed the clothes.The entire trip lasted from July 2nd, 2016 to July 8th, 2016.

Day 1 : Travel-Air-Air(July 2nd 2016)

We booked a Uber service to the airport. As usual, the driver took a hell lot of time searching for the apartment and he made us walk with the bags in the hot summer sun for about 1/2 a mile. “All-dressed -up” turned into “All-Sweat”.We thought that we would run out of time and miss the flight because of cab delay.Fortunately, the incoming aircraft got delayed, hence our boarding was delayed for more than 45 minutes.We did not miss the flight.I was excited to travel United as it was my first time in that airline. This aircraft had copious leg space for an economy class seat and enjoyed the travel. I was reading “The Last Song – By Nicholas Sparks”. A good read for the flight journey. We had to take a connection at the SFO airport.First time in my life, I had an experienced the beautiful runway at the SFO airport.I had a feeling that the aircraft was landing in that deep blue Pacific Ocean. So close it was.Of course, landed safely. After that, we had to  board the next plane to Honolulu. The boarding had already started and we had to run.This aircraft was a 3 -seater, unlike the  previous one that was an Embraer  2-seater plane. This journey was not so comfortable, with an emergency medical issue for an elderly person. The captain couldn’t land the plane anywhere so she had to cut short the journey to 4 hours 45 minutes rather than the usual 5 hours 30-minute flight. After getting down, we had to wait for a friend of ours to pick up from the airport so there was a further delay of another hour to hit the bed. My first impression was ” Definitely, people are more friendly than the mainland. Everybody smiles at the fellow strangers and offers help. It was more like a Buddhist nation, more of a Filipino land rather than America.Devoid of Racism.” Our friend picked us up from the airport and dropped us at the hotel, Courtyard Waikiki Beach. The clock struck exactly 12 am when we reached the hotel.We stayed in a room that had a balcony and to my amazement, people were roaming the streets with full energy and even public transport was available at that time.Honolulu ocean breeze was amazing and I loved the place. We quickly gave a call to our parents that we reached this place and hit the sack.I couldn’t sleep but fell in love with Honolulu. I was imagining a situation where I moved to Honolulu permanently with a carefree Filipino life out there and dozed off unknowingly.

Day 2 : Disappointing Diamond Head and The Responding Beaches(July 3rd 2016)

After having breakfast at Kimobean Coffee. we headed towards Diamond Head.We were supposed to go hiking on a volcano that was dead 2 million years ago. After finding a parking space with a lot of struggle and buying the tickets , I was so excited to go hiking.My husband disappointed me after some time that he would not go for hiking with me since his shoes are not comfortable. To my dismay, I was disappointed and we had a little fight over it. I was like “Why couldn’t you pack a pair of shoes for hiking, blah, blah?”.So I didn’t go for hiking. After an hour, we made it to the beach. I hail from a place where there are beaches. Waikiki beach is a wonderful sight. That day, the weather being pleasant, we spent almost 6 hours at Ala Moana and Waikiki beaches. All drenched and happy. Every time, the waves hit me, I felt that nature was answering all my questions of life. Yes, I realized that nature answered and I started being stronger and clearer about certain decisions in my life.Later in the evening, after having late lunch, we went to Hanauma Bay just 2 hours before its closure for the day. That was the best heaven made by nature ever witnessed. We were back at the hotel around 8 pm. I went out for a stroll in and around the hotel area for some time before hitting the sack.

Day 3 : Pearl Harbour, Foster Botanical Garden and Independence Day Fireworks (July 4th 2016)

The American Independence Day- We visited the Pearl harbor. Went for USS Bowfin tour.As a memoir, we brought home few pearl harbor key chains. After the tour, we had a sumptuous meal in a restaurant called Bombay Palace somewhere close to Ala Moana Blvd, Honolulu. The second half of the day, we visited the Foster Botanical Garden. To be very frank, I had visited better botanical gardens elsewhere. This place was not as expected other than the breeze. So we relaxed there for some time and had early dinner. All geared up to watch the fire works in Honolulu. Yay, my second fireworks in my life. Amazing. We walked for more than 10 miles from the hotel just to witness it.Unlike the mainland, everybody else walked and biked to watch the fireworks. OMG , happy for what we saw.

Day 4 : Tour on foot, Honolulu Zoo, city tours(July 5th 2016)

On the day 4, we gave up the car ride and ventured out on foot. That is my favorite thing , walking. We went to the Honolulu Zoo and took a stroll through the city. This zoo had several species from Asia and Africa ranging from birds, the naughty monkey species to the wilder beasts. We also visited the shopping malls, local convenience, and grocery stores.I’m not too sure as to why most of the stores were called as “ABC Stores”. We cooked dinner at the hotel that night.

Day 5 : Lyon Arboretum, Manoa Falls, Kailua beach(July 6th 2016)

On the day 5, we had visited Kailua beach in the morning. The beach was certainly dirty and little creepy too. We didn’t find people around. So we just took pictures and left the place soon. This place would be amazing had we gone with a gang of friends. The journey from Honolulu to Kailua made us understand that there are many places in the United States with less development and no water facilities.We packed lunch boxes and had it in the car.Post lunch, we visited the Lyon Arboretum that was managed by the University of Hawaii. I felt as if I was somewhere in the middle of watching a horror movie. No people around and the path was very narrow to walk. There was a sign board “Jessica Parker would have liked to sit here “. I called out her name aloud and we ran down like crazy kids. Later that evening, we did some trekking and visited the Manoa Falls. This place was a million times better than the Turner Falls in Oklahoma.The pathway was very slippery and marshy. As we approached the falls, the weather got little colder and we had to drench in the rain while getting down.This was the most adventurous day in Hawaii.

Day 6 : Kuhio Beach Park, Hawaii Shopping, Return flight(July 7th 2016 & July 8th 2016)

On the last day of Hawaii vacation, we visited Kuhio beach park that was pretty close to the hotel.We did a quick shopping and brought home the fertility God of Hawaii, the Hawaiian tribe Polynesian art mask, Aloha shirt and few shell made necklaces.This was the saddest day. I didn’t want to return from Hawaii.We had to catch the American airline flight that evening, As usual, the flight was delayed and we were given an alternative flight via LAX.

In my opinion, the trip was overall nice.Though we stayed for so many days, we made relaxing visits to all the places and did not go out of Oahu. Travel by foot is the best way to enjoy and cherish the Oahu island. This is the best place to live on earth but with the super inflated cost of living.As a memory of this trip,  the cover page of this blog is a photograph of Kailua Beach of Hawaii clicked on my phone. This picture is not the greatest click, but surely represents something that is made by me.